Lesbian Stereotypes 101: U-Hauling

Q: “What does a lesbian bring to a second date?”

A: “A Uhaul”

If you haven’t heard this joke, you’re either straight, or living under a rock. Not that there’s anything wrong with either of those things. I support you in all your endeavors- whatever makes you happy.

My name is Angel, and I’m a U-Haul lesbian.

(Hi, Angel)

My girlfriend and I were best friends sophomore year of college. It only made sense that we’d move in together the next year, so we could continue to spend every waking moment together. I can’t say with certainty, but I feel like if either of us had known the change our relationship would make between those two years of school, we wouldn’t have moved in together. It seems crazy and irrational! But we continued with the plans we had before we started dating. And maybe moving in together at the beginning of our relationship wasn’t a good idea. We had to face things that many couples don’t even think about until much further into their relationship. But eventually, we worked through it. We might have tricked ourselves into becoming U-Haul lesbians, but we’ve continued living together ever since, and I wouldn’t go back and change it.

There’s this stereotype about lesbians that says we get really serious in a relationship, really quickly. I’ve heard of “the urge to merge” also used for gays in general, not just lesbians. When talking to one of my friends about gay relationships, he told me that “gay relationships are like dog years- 6 months is like 2 years.”

So why is “U-hauling” a lesbian specific stereotype? I asked my girlfriend, and she said: “I think it’s because we’re girls and when we fall for someone we fall hard and devote ourselves to them completely and wanna spend as much time with them as possible which means moving in together.” Which actually kind of makes sense, when you think about it. I’m not trying to say that all girls are super emotional, and the Shanes and Frankies of us obviously aren’t prone to settle down any time soon, but girls do typically have stronger emotional responses. Another friend tied into that by saying that we want to make our girlfriends our best friends.

According to the Wikipedia page (and other totally credible sources) for U-Haul lesbian– yes, this exists, psychologists think that we do this to avoid the risks involved with dating. Apparently, we do this because we don’t have intimate relationships in our teens because we’re in the closet, and so we create these intense relationships because we have freedom as adults. -_- Though I know it’s not everyone’s story, but although I was “closeted” in high school, I still had relationships. Albeit they were straight relationships, and they were gross, but they existed. So I don’t particularly feel stunted in any way. But maybe I’m a unicorn. But I have friends who weren’t closeted in high school, and they definitely don’t feel stunted or cheated out of intimate relationships. So I’m not sure where these (probably) straight, male psychologists got this idea from, but I think it’s horse shit.

So I’m still not really sure why this is such a lesbian phenomenon. Do you guys have any ideas?


5 thoughts on “Lesbian Stereotypes 101: U-Hauling

  1. Personally, I think it has to do with the intense bonds that lesbians form with one another, but I could be wrong. Hey, I had those gross, straight relationships in high school, too.

  2. Pingback: Into The Light: My Coming Out Story « Her Gay Agenda

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