You Didn’t Know? I’m Super Gay.

In my last post, I mentioned how struck I was when Jodie Foster mentioned that she didn’t expect to have to come out over and over again every time she met a new person.  All I can say is:

i know that feel batman harry potter

When you’re still in the closet (also, I kind of hate that term now that I’ve used it so much), the main item in your life to do list is to finally, someday, somehow, come out.  Or maybe it’s just me.  But looking back, I was feeling kind of tunnel vision-y.  That was my focus.  I was trying to figure out the right way to tell my parents, what would happen, if everything would still be okay.  Thankfully, it more or less was.

But now that it’s already happened, I have a mini hurdle to jump every time I meet someone knew. Maybe I’m super lame, but a lot of the times I just choose to ignore it.  I mean a lot of the time, you meet someone, and it’s just not relevant.  You might never see them again, or you just don’t interact with them enough to be divulging details about your personal life.  But then there’s people you see and talk to often enough that it begins to feel awkward.  Then again, I tend to just be a bit awkward sometimes, so maybe I’m the only one feeling it.

I find it awkward to replace “my girlfriend” with “my roommate” or to just leave her out of the story, so sometimes I just drop it in there and see how they’ll react.  Sometimes, people tell me they read my blog from Facebook, and I take that as an acknowledgement that we all know what’s going on here. But regardless, it just seems weird to me that every time I meet someone that I intend to spend a decent amount of time with, I have to tell them I’m gay and simply wait for a reaction.  Isn’t that dumb?

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11 thoughts on “You Didn’t Know? I’m Super Gay.

  1. I think that coming out isn’t just a one-and-done thing. I’ve been out for 10 years now but still find myself coming out to new people as situations present themselves. The post office worker, the guy adjusting our insurance claim, the person who cut my hair last month, the people in the writer’s group I just joined. Sometimes I feel up to it and make sure people know that I mean female partner (although people usually get that by looking at me). Other times I talk around it because I just don’t feel like outing myself for the umpteenth time. I always thought a good book premise would be to come out to one person a day and write about the experience.

  2. Definitely Dumb. Ive only comeout to my family and a couple of close friends. And the prospect of coming out again and again is frightening and exhausting. I do wish it didnt have to be a big deal and people would take it as such.

  3. I agree with you completely as well as the other comments! it’s very tiresome having to do constant little coming-outs. Sometimes it’s no big deal, but other times it’s really annoying and tedious. One of those things that’s inescapable I think.

  4. If you can get yourself to stop seeing your homosexuality as “personal information” it will become almost effortless to divulge it whenever it makes sense to do so. I treat it like my hair color, or my nationality. I have brown hair, I’m irish and italian, I’m a lesbian… etc
    It also gets easier as time goes on

  5. Well sweetie you have the benefit of “looking straight” whatever that means to the rest of the world. Meanwhile when people cant figure out I’m gay its like “did you miss the obvious flashing neon sign” I honestly dont remember how your dad took it on me, but then again I was only your bff’s mom…..

    • Bahaha! That’s too funny. Sometimes I wish it were just obvious so it wasn’t a thing I had to divulge. But I know looking obviously gay (whatever THAT means) comes with its own challenges, too. You can’t win!

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